Some Fun

We took our time around the house this morning and finally got to SeaWorld about 12:30 this afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day.  The parking lot was crowded and the shows were packed, but it didn't seem that bad.  Maybe because we know what we are doing and kind of just go at our pace....but it's just so enjoyable.  I LOVE our SeaWorld days and am so thankful for passes once again for Christmas!!

Not a bad picture...love these girls.  SO.  MUCH.

First stop was the dolphins.  Lina could stay there all day and Lila is beginning to follow that love.  It's sweet.  Lydia enjoys it for a bit, but is always ready to move on to the next thing...or have a snack.  The dolphin show always a favorite.  We met up with a friend from Trinity briefly, fed some sea lions, and then met up with friends Gaye and Christina for the Shamu show, polar bears, and leisure walk around the aquarium.

Out of several this was the best.  Please children- if you would all just look at the camera, smile, and keep hands away from your mouth....it would be over.  QUICKLY!!  Drives me crazy.  But I love them. : )



Tomorrow have some errands to run and I get to see my Kindergarten buddy, Jen and her hubby!  Can't wait!  Monday and Tuesday will be full of getting ready for the week.  Round  is on Wednesday.  Once again "our village" has been called upon and girls are all taken care of.  We are so blessed and because of these people it makes this so much more bearable!!

Before we got to parking lot we stopped for a potty break. A sweet grandma said to me "I hope you are on your way to recovery". I smiled and told her by the end of this week I will be half-way there!! She then shared about her 3 year old granddaughter that is going through chemo in Ohio, Josie. I told her that I had some amazing prayer warriors and that we would pray for Josie. Can you imagine? 3 years old. She said she will never look at someone going through chemo again the same way. That they are warriors. Kinda feeling that way today. Pray for little Josie and her family!!



A Normal Beautiful Day

.....well as normal is it can be as two bald friends with ports in their chest and beating up cancer can be taking a walk around Lake Eola and feeding ducks.  LOL.  Oh seriously, what are the chances?  And my mom beating up breast cancer and the said bald friend's dad beginning to beat up prostate cancer.  TOOOO much.  Needless to say our conversations went back and forth from the upcoming nuptials to our treatment and experiences/emotions......the whole time.  Kinda can't help it.

BUT it was a normal beautiful day.  And seriously you should walk around with the two of us.  People looked, opened doors, smiled....you know they think we met at treatment or something.  Nope.  Friends for 15 years. 

Lila started back at speech and OT 2x a week.  We will do 2 weeks on and take chemo week off.  Therapists were so sweet just waiting for Lila....and me.  Love those ladies.  We haven't been there since the week before Thanksgiving!!  This week was more of eval and see where my little bit is.  There is a b-day around the corner here.  Can't believe that lil peanut will be 4. 

After ST/OT we met up with Carmen to walk around (well not all the way) Lake Eola and feed ducks.  It was such a beautiful day.  In fact this beautiful weather.....I LOVE walking girls to school in the morning and picking up in the afternoon.   Lina has been riding her bike.  Trying to give some "big girl" responsibility and so far we had miscommunicationon Monday, but the rest of the week has been smooth.  Atta Girl, Lin!

I continue to receive hats, beautiful notes, funny notes, music, candy........YOU people are the amazing ones.  Seriously.  I feel very uncomfortable reading or hearing "you are amazing" or "an inspiration".  I guess.  I kinda look at this though and my first thought is, well- I really don't have a choice.  Crawling up in a ball and feeling sorry for myself is NOT an option.  And you know what....other than those first few days of my world being rocked- I have NOT wanted to crawl up in a ball.  It's HIS peace I tell you.  Passes all understanding....I get that now.  Don't get me wrong- this sucks.  It has interrupted my life and I don't feel like ME at the moment, but I AM SO VERY MUCH NOT ALONE in this.  Great family, great friends....and a Father that loves me so stinking much with His healing hand ALLLL over this.

Ready for Friday and the weekend.  Hoping to get to SeaWorld on Saturday.  Planning ahead for next week.  Cannot believe it will be February!

Paying Forward

Speechless.

Every day...every single day....I am at a loss for words and overwhelmed at the good people in my life.  Friends I have known since I was 5, friends from HS, friends from college, friends from neighborhood, friends from church, friends I met online.....and then there are those "random people" - GOOD people- in this world...that bless my life.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.

From hats, notes, prayers, texts, meals 4x a week brought to our house, books, make up, stuff for girls, frozen custard from WI, bagels from NY, jammies to be comfy, to a comment  in the bread aisle....and for our meal at Outback being paid for- it all makes me want to be a better person.

And I will pay this forward.  Refinement at its finest.

Yes, we went to dinner at Outback tonight.  I "look like I am fighting cancer"- I wore a scarf on my head for the first time tonight.  I took the girls outside and Bob went to take care of the bill.  The bill which was taken care of by two random strangers in the restaurant.  Right?  Isn't that absolutely amazing?  Beautiful?  Makes me cry.

Pay it forward.  I have a lot of paying forward to do.  A.  LOT.  I want to.  It just blesses people- and I don't mean stuff or meals- just generally paying it all forward.

Overwhelming Joy!

We had a great weather weekend.  OH.  MY.  WORD.  It was per-fect.  Girls played outside all day and we took a quick trip to the beach on Sunday after church.  It was wonderful.  Lydia HAAATES the beach SO that part of it was a pain, but as a friend reminded me...."it's just a bit of normalcy" and I am trying to embrace normalcy.  At any cost I suppose : )

I wasn't feeling great.  I have sinus crud and generally feeling punky.  SO I basically just rested and drank drank drank water- and not gonna lie I can't wait to drink a frosty mug of beer or a bottle or two of wine when this ALLLL over!!  But for now H2O works.  I felt a little better each day.

Monday I went to a "Look Good Feel Better" class put on by the American Cancer Society .  It was really, well, sweet and lovely....but the crowd was interesting.  A much older crowd and the gal next to me wouldn't SHUUUUT UP.  It was really annoying and both gals leading tried their best to "rein her in" but this ol' Southern Belle.....had an audience and she loved it.  There was a gal my age who just had her first round sitting across from table and we were trying to chat, but this lady was so awful interrupting and then I had to leave early.  Too bad.  The class gave some make up samples and some tips.  I left with too much make up on.  BUT it was nice.   I did cry my eyes out during the into video.  This whole journey....it's so much.  It's so emotional.  I didn't WANT to HAVE to be there. 

Today I had two appointments.  First was with radiation oncologist.  I just really hate this whole "cancer thing" and the whole medical world involved in it.  BUT just like God, HE gives great people that make this "do-able".   Dr. Diamond.  I am all about a doc that "owns" a room when he/she walks in it?  Know what I mean?  Not arrogant just confident and real.  This guy was it.  Some get to know you chit chat...he has  girls and then he and Bob are showing pictures on their phones.  Hillarious.  More talk about ME- it IS about ME...and he shows me statistic nonsense and says that he does not recommend radiation.  Right now.  My lymphoma is atypical- it's location, size, and that it is NO WHERE else- leads to that recommendation.  Chemo should melt this crud away.  He will know more after that repeat PET scan some time in February. And if any it would be a "ball field area"- I thought the doc had used some big medical word so I repeated it and when I repeated it- clicked- just the area of my chest where this stuff lies.  SO.  HUUUUUGE PRAISE on that!  HUGE!  And now praying about that PET!!

Second apt was with a PA at oncologist office to check on port, how are you doing, and blood work.  In walks Dr. Z- my oncologist.  He said his schedule was light today and he wanted to see me.  LOVE that guy.  LOVE LOVE LOVE him!!  He wasn't quite on board with the no radiation, but I told him today I am celebrating that and if the PET scan shows differently than we will re-group. And he agreed with me.  For today.  I can tell he is more on the aggressive side. 

My blood work came back all glowing.

My bone marrow biopsy came back ALLLLL clear!!!

I am high as a kite right now.  We are heading out to Outback for dinner.  I feel like celebrating.

It's so overwhelming.  ALLL of this.  My mom.  My Carmen.  ME.  Are you kidding me???  My mom is rocking along...4 more treatments and then radiation.  Carmen has last round next week and then radiation.  We are getting close to this all being behind us.

Join me in thankfulness of answered prayers....and continued prayers!  HE hears and answers them all and I am convinved that "through His stripes, I am healed"!!

Ahhh! The Weekend Is Here

A little hiccup....my port incision has an infection. There was a lingering stitch....and it was becoming infected. Saw surgeon this am and had stitch snipped and now I am on antibiotics. My blood counts were all good so prayerfully this will just be nothing.

Big girls have no school tomorrow. I am looking forward to sleeping in a little and maybe something fun. It's been absolutely gorgeous these days.

I am feeling good and am so thankful for that!!

DING DING DING! Round 2 Goes to the Balding Blonde!

....not without tears and some swearing!  THIS was not easy.

All is fine.  I was just really emotional this go.  There are many reasons to add to the emotions.  #1 is the overwhelming support I/we have.  It truly is SUCH a BLESSING and my dear friends and family are carrying me through this more than they will ever know.  #2 my second day was a very busy day in the treatment room.  I had too many different nurses and there were just grumpy people in there.  I NEED positive.  #3 I was anticipating this bone marrow biopsy with a tad bit of fear.

Gretchen Kuck came with me on day 2.  It was so nice to catch up with her the Kuck family doings. They are anticipating the arrival of grandson #3 in April.  So fun!  I have known Gretchen for about 25 years.  : )

Bob came today.  After Thursday's hectic-ness and nurse sticking herself with my needle AFTER she removed it from my port and anticipating the biopsy I was a bundle of tears.  I woke up looking awful.  My eyes were slits from crying and my cheeks puffy from steroids.  OY!  I and my faithful prayer warriors prayed for peace and a good nurse.  LOUD AND CLEAR I had a very dear nurse who read my anxious heart immediately.  She snagged my doctor and he read my mind also....and ordered extra ativan.  I love ativan.

Biopsy.  One thing with ativan....my mouth runs.  Sometimes I am funny. Sometimes I am angry.  Sometimes I am bossy.  I was all of the above.  Dr. Zakari and I are getting to know one another.  I told him what I expected him to do....and he told me what he was going to do....and we found a happy medium.  I mean, he does have the medical degree and was about to stick a needle in my HIP and do some work.  He numbed me up and asked for more.  We talked about Brooklyn- he interned there.  We talked about music- 80's.  Then I told him to bring it back to me.  : )  IT's all about me right now.  He agreed.  Not gonna lie- not super comfortable, but it didn't hurt.  I may hurt here shortly.  It was down right GROSS what he was doing- in fact one med student had to step out- SKIRT!  : )  And after I was patched up....I got to see the piece of my bone and marrow slides.  Interesting- if you are into that kind of stuff.  EEEEWWW.

I came home to a yummy chocolate cake waiting....delievered from Jen and Brendan and I am about to enjoy that.  I came home to yellow hair taped to my mirror....so I have golden locks when I first wake up.  Texts, cards, gifts....hats- I have hats galore coming my way.  I am so overwhelming blessed with friends and family and their support.  I am still more emotional today than I have been, but as a friend said...this is a battle.  Battles are not EASY.  There is blood, sweat, and tears.

I will need to do a PET scan after round 3, but doc pretty much said we are looking at 6 rounds of chemo.  So I am 1/3 done with this!  Next round is 2/1, 2/2/ and 2/3.

But this round...DONE.  And with HIS GRACE AND MERCY....I won!!

It's Just Hair and Round Two Ahead!

Well.  My hair is falling out.  I am almost afraid to go out in the wind.  So weird.  My scalp actually kinda "hurts", but if I run my fingers through my hair and get a handfull....that doesn't hurt.  So weird.  I guess I will go check out wigs next week.  Although I don't think I will be a wig wearer.  I have some super cute hats.

I have been talking about this with the girls for about 2 weeks.  Lina wishes that I didn't have to.  Lydia says basically that's too bad.  LOL.  Oh Lyd.  We shall see how my Lila reacts.

Lydia had her dance recital today.  It was so wonderful.  The theme was LIFE: It Happens.  Jeremiah 29:11.

Ironic, no?  Yup.  Life.  It happens.  The good, the bad...it happens and God loves us through it all.  AND is right there beside us.  Lydia did some ballet to "By Your Side" by Tenth Ave North.  OH.  MY.  WORD.  Bawled my eyes out and in between each song was scripture and devotion.  OH.  MY.  It was just so good.  We were going to take a break from dance.....but I just re-registered for Spring.  My girl needs this!  I NEED this!!

This week brings chemo on Wed, Thurs, and Fri....along with a bone marrow biopsy.  Yeah!  NOT. 

Blood Behaving and PET Scan Report

So.  Those of you who know me well know my love of the dentist.  Wouldn't you know, I cracked a dang molar over the weekend.  Timing.  My dentist and the office are FABULOUS.  I really don't know why I am such a lunatic.  But, alas, I am.  I needed to get a blood check and such before DDS can go poking around.  Now I cannot get any work done because of the blood thinners I am on (and I need to be on them because of this crud in my chest that causes pressure....and blood clots- we are NOT going that route again!).

My blood report came back with all stars.  Feel like a 3rd grader getting a test back.

Then I asked to talk to nurse.  I have an appointment on Friday, but I needed to ask if my PET came back yet.  My oncologist happen to walk by in the hallway.  He passed the door, but we made eye contact.  Not 5 seconds later he came back (still talks waaaay too fast for me) and said, "Jennifer..  How are you?  How are you doing"  Call me impressed.  We talked ever briefly and told him I would see him Friday.

Nurse came back with my report with a smile.  Ahhh, yes.  And then I just cried.

This junk is in no other places- "no activity" other than......the big ol thing in my chest and 2 lymph nodes in my neck- they are tiny and that is what really presented itself a month ago as an enlarged thyroid.  Interesting. 

Today I am happy.  I feel good.  I am thankful for caring doc and nurses.  I am SO thankful for good reports today.