A Week

I am here.  Just haven't had the words to write.

BUT it's been a week since treatment and I feel SO much better than I did up until yesterday.

I was sharing with a mom friend at school today- I know that the shot I get messes with my joints and for some reason for me, I feel it in my skin and my neck also.  Well.  It really freaks me out.  I yawned the other night and my neck felt like it did in November and it scares me.  Then I start poking around at my body and looking in mirror and convince myself that chemo didn't work and "it's back".  Granted, I will live like that for the rest of my life now.....but I haaaaate living like that.  That's not faith.  That's not trust.  It is fear.  And well, fear sucks.

Trying to keep life as normal as possible and have been avoiding potty training Lila because she just doesn't "get it"  Well, I go to the extreme and have a behavioral therapist come to the house and we discuss my plan for the day.  She tells me she wouldn't do anything different- offers a few different ideas and was on her way.  Monday was a disaster.  I kept a pull up on over panties (which are just sooooooooo tiny, precious, and adorable) because she just kept peeing.  Tuesday.  I flooded her with juice and sweet tea and every :30-:45 we were in the bathroom.  She would go just a little each time.  But she was dry all day.  Finally she realllly went.  Woke up dry Wednesday and we had a very productive day....without a pull up.  So proud of her.  She is still such a peanut, but is really working hard at this.  And funny thing- we haven't left the house and it's been so enjoyable for both of us.  Hmmm.  Perhaps we need to do that more often.  Too much rushing around, going there and here.....I am getting it.

Tomorrow is the last day of school before spring break!  Ahhh- I cannot wait.  The girls cannot wait.  Friday we are starting it off by taking the big girls to the Magic game.  Bob, after 6 years of waiting, finally got the company's tickets!  Lila will play with Tia and Tony for the night.  It should be fun!!  Monday- Thursday we will be out at Orange Lake with good friends.  Cannot wait for that either.  Monday is Bob's b-day and Rich is making a BBQ pork dinner.  Thursday we will wake up, pack up, and head over to Busch Gardens for the day.  Lina has been dying to get there.....and I told her if she made her AR goal we would go.  Which is not a problem for the girl because she reads and reads and reads, but she hates those tests.  And I can't blame her, but she needed to do them.  And she did.

I go to the oncologist tomorrow just to touch base.  I always like those appointments.  I like hearing, "you're doing great" and I will ask him to tell me again that "it's all gone"....and I will be good for a few days.