I have had 4 PET scans since December. I know the routine and really they aren't terrible. The worst part is getting a blood draw and IV started for the dye. Being in "the tube" for :20 isn't a big deal. It's all the thinking of "what ifs" and the dreaded waiting 24-48 hours to have that appointment with my oncologist that I can't bear. I thought I was going to throw up all day today.
Today I met with my oncologist to discuss my PET from 2 days ago. I go in spurts- confident in HIS HEALING HAND or completely can't get a grip on my emotions or FEAR of what if. This week was fear. Dr. Z walked in the room and I thought I would throw up. My heart rate was 110 and he knew I was a wreck. "Your PET scan is clear as usual" and I lost it. Great conversation followed though- I HATE being at that clinic. I hate being in that office. Seeing this very kind and good dr makes me ILL. I told him that it was 8 months ago today that we met. He then said, "it's going to be 4 years and 4 months till this relationship is over"....till the word "CURED" is said. He was very encouraging saying that I have been in remission for 7 months and he doesn't expect anything different, but none of this is 100%. And the reasonable side of me KNOWS that and BELIEVES that, but the mommy who doesn't want her girls to go through this crap again EVER...... Dr. Z also told me to get the first PET scan of the day and email him the day I get it....he will then email me THAT DAY with the results. And make appointments on Fridays- there was hardly anyone in the clinic.
I have an appointment in November and will do another PET scan. Sigh. Then it will be one in 6 months. And from there I didn't want to know anymore. I hate cancer. And really. I KNOW that I had a "pretty easy" course of action and for that I AM SO THANKFUL FOR!!
I have been feeling so great these days. AdvoCare. Ever hear of it?? CHECK IT OUT. I was introduced a year ago and started using a few products. Then a "curveball" came my way and I didn't continue what I was using other than 1 product all through chemo. Well, I have been eating so much better, exercising faithfully, and adding these supplements to my day. If you are looking for something to help strengthen yourself- ask me about this My AdvoCare page And a plug for the "My Fitness Pal" app for iphone. CHECK THAT OUT! Keeps me so accountable and I have some cheerleaders and support there. I am confident that the 12 lbs that I have lost in July will only continue to melt away.
Being able to "run" 5 miles 3x a week has been HUGE. Next week I will start my training with LLS Team in Training. There is a dinner on Wednesday where I have the honor of being an "Honored Hero" for the season. My friend Debbie has been walking with me at dark o'clock in the morning 3 x a week. If you don't have an organization that you support, may I recommend LLS through my Team in Training page??? I will participate in the Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon November 10.
Next step? My useless port comes out on Monday morning. I have to be at FL Hospital at 5:30 in the AM. My procedure is at 7:30. That's it. Last bit of "this".
